you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
