I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i dont even know how to be here
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
