Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
