do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
