so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
