Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Boobs speak an international language.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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