Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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