I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
