Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Do vagina's smell?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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