I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
