thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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