Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize