Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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