Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
