Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
two words: eviction party
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
