I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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