he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
