i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
