So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
