I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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