oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
