HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Randomize
