YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
