So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
