You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
