he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
