My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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