my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i just had sex bonerless
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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