Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
