Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I can text with my tongue
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
