whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
