So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
