it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
