ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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