i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
