I'm so fucking centered right now
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
