my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
