my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
