um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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