It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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