so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
