I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
