i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
