I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
