IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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