He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
