YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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