I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
