I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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