Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
