Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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