Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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