The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
