The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
