As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
